A soothing shower

In continuation of my last post...
I recalled a lot more details after that, plenty of finer details. I remember the conversations that were. Yet, there is one part, one essential detail that still eludes me. Recalling that would give me the completeness I seek. I talked to my therapist again, I needed to. It was different. I was able to talk about, in quite the vivid detail I had in my head without too much hesitation. Some of my deeply ingrained patterns now have a reason to them.

I find it interesting that another friend of mine, who also has gone through a recent rape, found showering very soothing. What is it? I know, there is a feeling clean instead of dirty factor. Somehow, I don't suppose that is not it all for me. There is more to it. Hard to express. To feel the water drops drip-drop and splatter off the skin is comforting. Perhaps it is a reminder of how everything in life has a cycle. May be it is a sense of shielding... the water cannot penetrate; it has to splatter off my skin, the closest I can come to a shield? May be I'm simply over thinking this. Could it be more fundamental than that? Rain brings water to the ground and stimulates growth... rain water activates the ground bacteria that start fixing nitrogen in the ground, leaving more oxygen in the atmosphere. Yes, it is stretch, but hey, it is afterall my blog :-)
While I'm stretching thus, might as well include one more hypothesis: "we are born in water". Being inside the amniotic fluid is perhaps the most basal instinct we have for safety. Thinking about it, we curl up when we need to feel safe (or cozy). That is perhaps what I intended to obtain from the shower.