I had my first therapy session of the year today. It was good, very good indeed. I went in with one thing in mind. Came out with a more fundamental understanding of things. It was wonderful.
I usually trust people completely, and very easily. I do not doubt their credibility from the get go. All this time, I've thought my problem was this trusting nature. But today, I realized to my own surprise that it is not just my trusting nature that is a problem. It is also my distrusting nature that is a problem. I realized that I loose trust in people as quickly as I trust them. That is really bad. This is mainly due to my insecurity. I feel the need to be reassured in any relationship. But ultimately, the reassurance has to come from within. Right now, it mostly comes from without. This has unfortunately broken a few of my relationships in the past -- not just the romantic, mind you.
This is really a pressing issue for me right now. That I overly trust initially and then soon afterwards unreasonably distrust is unhealthy I feel. I know it is better late than never, nevertheless it has cost me rather dearly, I'm afraid. Huh! I could only hope that I don't repeat the mistake again!
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