Sunday, December 2, 2007

A continuing facade

"Should I continue the facade?", that is the question that is going on in my head right now. I was talking to my mom yesterday. Somehow the topic went to the amount of rape that is happening. What my mom didn't realize was that the number of people raped didn't go up recently, the number of people who are willing to report has gone up more. She was pointing out how she saw more and more cases of 4 and 5 year olds being molested. She was talking about it as if this were a new phenomenon happening only in recent years, and in particular in the US (unlike India, where she is). Little did she know that her own son was molested when he was only 5.

It was hard for me to calm myself down before I could explain to her that this might not be a new phenomenon. It also took me a lot more effort to let her know that this is not something happening only in the US. It is really detrimental that in India people don't talk about 'it' ('it' being anything related to sex, abuse or otherwise; 'it' being such a huge taboo). While I'm kinda proud to have explained all that to her without losing my temper or getting upset, I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

How much longer should I keep my parents in the blind? Shouldn't I be known for who I'm, instead of hiding behind a mask? At the same time, do I need to put them through the stress of this? What purpose does it serve anyways other than putting them through a lot of misery? Sure there is something to be said about voicing my inner thoughts, but I've done enough of that to my T and here (special thanks to Karma for letting me know she is listening). What if I do tell them and they don't believe me? Is it worth taking the risk?

4 comments:

Karma said...

Well, I think its important to have space to be who you are without having to put up the mask.

Karma said...

You're very welcome. Thanks for listening at my blog too.

Karma said...

I tagged you in a MEME about survivor needs.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I found you through Karma's blog. I understand about the facade/mask issue. For me, when I came out about my abuse, I just wanted to be validated.

You may want to consider this post for the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I maintain this carnival and details are at my blog. We'd love to have you participate.